Category Archives: Writing

Tweet or Not to Tweet

The gloaming is coming earlier these days. The Cabin, cozy as it is, can be small.

Halloween Cabin

Our winter is heated by wood more than sun.

wood

Fewer outdoor adventures, unless you want to really bundle up. A dive instead back into a small pink knitting project.

pink knitting

Oliver wants to lay down on the already-cold grass. I don’t.

oliver cold grass

What to do? Something new.

First I asked an intern to escort me through the twisted corridors of Twitterdom. Why do this at all? was my first thought, my eye wandering over the overwhelming Twitter feed. Well, said Carlos, my intern, you might find something interesting.

Carlos

Ahhh, that.

I went to the Metropolitan Museum’s profile to see who the greatest art institution in America was wont to follow, and discovered a thousand crazy, creative persons and places I didn’t know existed, that I want to know more about.

met

Only connect, as Forster said. Easy for him to say. He didn’t have FB, Twitter, Tumblr, etc., etc.

Catch me at @jeanczimmerman and we’ll tweet.

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To Be a Ghost

Gil is an animal of many and variegated stripes. He writes nonfiction (Aftermath, Inc.Mafia Summit) and fiction (Mockman).

Gil signing

He is also expert at articulating the stories of others as their collaborator. I asked Gil some questions about the process.

Why ghostwrite?

I like to collaborate, because otherwise you’re alone in a room with a computer keyboard. Collaboration relieves that.

How do you help someone tell their story?

I ask them questions, get them to talk about themselves, record the results, transcribe it, and that’s the raw fodder for the book. Sometimes they offer other material, past interviews, diaries, historical records, all of which are good.

You’ve written for athletes, record producers, polar adventurers, and the husband of Susan Smith, the woman who drove her kids into the drink many years ago. Which one was your favorite coauthor?

My favorite is always the one I’m doing now. But I have to say Robert Swan, the adventurer, the only man who walked to both the north pole and the south pole. I like him very much. An incredible environmentalist. That book was called 2041: My Quest to Save the Earth’s Last Wilderness.

robert-swan-4

Are there any tricks of the trade?

I consider myself a success if I disappear in the prose.

Tiki Barber BookWhat determines if you get credit for your work?

I don’t think it’s important. I always believe that the people who should know I have written the book will wind up knowing, i.e. editors and agents. I’m proud of my “with”s, that’s the terminology you use when as a ghost you get a “with Gil Reavill” credit. And I’m also proud of my uncredited ghostwriting.

ruthless

What are you working on now?

I’m not at liberty to say.

Will it be a big book?

It is a big book.

I’ve written books for angry black men and I’m a timid white boy. I’ve written books for egocentric women and I’m a zelig male. To reach across the membranes of self to enter into another person’s reality is an enjoyable novelty.  The metaphor I use to talk about my ghostwriting work is a lawyer and his client. I’m there to give somebody the language that they might not have otherwise. Or I’m perhaps in some cases there to speed up the process, to allow someone to write a book in one year what it would take them ten years to do without me.

What do you think that ghosting has done for your own creative work?

Ventriloquism is always part of the creative process, even in nonfiction. What did Kafka say? We need an ax to break the ice between us. Creativity is the ax.

Franz-Kafka

What does that have to do with the question?

What is the question?

We’re all separate souls and creativity builds the bridge, whether it’s between two real people or an author and a created character. There are still bridges to be built.

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Making Change

It’s a good day for working. I just finished proofing the third pass Savage Girl galleys. Found some periods and commas that persisted perversely in the manuscript despite everyone’s best efforts. A few tiny, tiny changes make all the difference. If. You. Ask. Me.

Yes, it’s a good day for scrunching your forehead and working. Especially if your work is being on the lookout for deer.

scrunch

But isn’t it a better day for rolling in the grass? Those fallen leaves add a toasty texture to a run-of-the-mill back scratch.

O rolling

Closer to waist level, the sun warms the fall berries. Where do they come from? The landscape has changed. All of the sudden they’re there.

red berries

Then there are the last of the morning glories, though they don’t know it. The deer have already had at most of their leaves. Soon the blooms will fold up their tent.

glories

They mirror the arching sky. Contrails: someone’s going someplace.

blue sky

The morning glories unfurl for just a single day. Their only work is being beautiful.

This morning I revamped the front page of this site, and I invite you to visit. To improve is to change, said Churchill. To be perfect is to change often. I don’t know that I change often enough or dramatically enough, but I’d like to try something new.

For one thing, I’m settling on an up-to-date author photo. Not quite sure, but this one’s a strong possibility.  I like it because I seem bemused. Which I often am.

IMG_8745 revised

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Dam It All

Friends in the audience, new and old. We met together upstairs at The Golden Notebook in Woodstock, New York.

golden notebook

It was a warm autumn day outside, and everything had that sun-burnished appearance. In the middle was a sign that beckoned: come inside, come inside, come inside.

store sign

Afterwards I wondered just what it was that made me so fascinated by beavers that I hold forth about them in every talk I give about The Orphanmaster.

beaver1687

True, not enough has been said about beaver.

New York was built on the foundation of the shaggy, rotund rodent with the frying pan tail.

The animal was easily trapped by Native Americans in their winter dens. The pelts were then traded with Europeans for copper, guns, rum, which was called “English milk.”

Cartographers dressed up their work with the animals.

Fur_Trade map

Everyone wanted to know where the beavers were. In the 1600s, traders sent hundreds of thousands of pelts back to Europe. The sole reason for this huge trade? Beaver hats.

Beaver felt

Not made from the fur proper, but from felt made from the fur, an extraordinarily complex process that involved a heavy dose of mercury, the chemical that made the Mad Hatter mad.

making_felt_hat

The felt was waterproof in an era before umbrellas. It was glossy, sturdy. The beaver – so the beaver hat was called – was the essential accoutrement for men and women of Europe. Everyone who could afford one had one, or two, or three. Beavers were bequeathed in wills.

painting of hats

In The Orphanmaster, everyone would have worn a beaver, even the women. All kinds of styles were available. Blandine, the protagonist of the story, is bent on getting rich buying and selling beaver pelts to Europe, venturing out into the woods to make her trades with Indian trappers.

Later, my friend Lloyd led us on a beaver hunt. Not to capture the animals but to see their impressive lodges.

Lloyd at his pond

Down the hill from his house was a magical if uneven path.

magic if uneven

Far in the distance, across the pond, we could glimpse the rodents’ handiwork. More sun-burnishing.

distant lodge

A ways down the road,  the ruins of an ancient lumber mill.

mill:den

So much history of this area, the Catskill region of upstate New York, is a stumbleupon away. Like the antique bottles Lloyd’s daughter Alice excavates from the woods behind their house. Also in those woods, black bears rumble around, tearing open rotted logs to get at the creepy crawlers within.

old bottles

We saw one more lodge at Yankeetown Pond — to the right, below. David Bowie owns the mountain above. Probably has befriended a few of the beavers over the years. Like to come up for a drink? I’m Bowie.

Yankee

The finest specimen of the afternoon stood just to the side of the water, a gnawed tree that had clearly been someone’s snack.

beaver post

The beaver population was hunted out in the seventeenth century in these parts and is only just coming back today in earnest. They found one at the Bronx Zoo a few years back. No one could understand where it came from. Its name, they decided, was not Ernest, but Jose.

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The Golden Notebook in Golden Fall

Tomorrow will be a perfect day to take in the leaves upstate as they color up. If so much natural beauty wears thin and if you happen to be near Woodstock, New York, consider coming to The Golden Notebook for my 2:00 talk on The Orphanmaster. Signing copies, too. I know there are excellent lattes down the street and I’m pretty sure the nice people in the store will allow you to nurse one in in a  paper cup while you sit back and enjoy my slide show — lots of nuggets about the way people, places and things looked in 1660s Manhattan. The raging beaver trade. The fashion of men in red-heeled pumps. What was it actually like, anyway? New York before it became New York. Imagine.

visscherDetail2k

Please do come. I’ll be up on the second floor.

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Going to the Chapel

I needed to get a new author photo and I wanted to pose against the neat red bricks of St. Paul’s Chapel on the campus of Columbia University. It was not difficult to set up, since Maud was the photographer and this is where she went to school.

St. Paul's

When I.N. Phelps Stokes designed St. Pauls, it was the first non-McKim, Mead and White structure erected on campus. This was 1907. A photo from the time shows it looking new and bare. It would prove to be Stokes’ greatest architectural achievement.

1905

Over a century later, the diminutive chapel’s Renaissance design still wins acclaim for its beacon-like green dome, its Italianate authenticity, its salmon-brick Guastavino vaults and its splendid acoustics. A schedule of magnificent music was posted outside the doors. People love to get hitched here.

hitched

Waiting for our photo session, I took a seat–as I had many times, many years ago, when I was studying writing and this was my school–on the curving stone bench across from the Chapel.

love

It actually spells out Love Your Alma Mater, but I like the more elemental, bare-bones message.

All around, the autumn hedges were producing moist red berries.

berries

They looked like pieces of candy stuck there for the taking.

I ducked inside to check out Stokes’ inspired efforts. (Not pictured here, because no pictures allowed.) He created the glossy floors of marble fragments in intricate patterns resembling those you find in Italian churches, but these patterns are purely decorative, with no symbolic meaning. Sturdy wood chairs were preferable to pews, he decided. He and Edith had toured Italy in the winter and spring of 1905 as preparation for working on St. Pauls. During the trip he decided to bring back some wine – not just a few jugs of Chianti but 50 liters of red in casks that he then had decanted into half-pint bottles.

Stokes was a meticulous man, and a driven one. He wanted the job of designing St. Paul’s. His passion for the project was shared by his altruistic aunts, immensely wealthy sisters who refused to provided the funding unless their nephew was hired on.

I hovered in the back of the Chapel while mass was conducted in the nave. Short and sweet, body, wine, done.

My pictures also came about pronto. In the background the bricks, yes, to the side of the columned portico – at the top of each of those columns is a cherub carved by Gutzon Borglum, who was responsible for Mount Rushmore.

columns

In the background of the photos stands a Quattrocento-style bronze lamp, pickled green by time, designed by sculptor Arturo Bianchini to show the four apostles of the Old Testament but also a pod of swimming dolphins.

lumiere

Of course what you’ll see most of all in Maud’s pictures is not the bricks, not the dolphins, but my smile, beaming, because it is my daughter behind the camera and we are connecting through the medium of photography.

dolphins

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Filed under Art, Culture, History, Jean Zimmerman, Love, Fiercely, Music, Nature, Photography, Writers, Writing

A Victorian Evening

There were not enough chairs. Victorian Society guests who came in late had to huddle by the door rather than join the hundred or so in the room. I was only a little distracted by all those wide eyes in the audience, drinking in the images on the screen behind me, so entranced were they by the Gilded Age. It was a marvelous evening.

The Victorian Society New York members are a lovely bunch, very serious about their history and dedicated to preserving the built past of the nineteenth century. Talking about I.N. Phelps Stokes and his passion for Old New York, I could see that that strong interest of his resonated personally with so many of this group. That Edith “Fiercely” Minturn’s old-fashioned beauty touched them.

Minturn Girls Portrait jpeg

There were some great minds and delicate sensibilities in the crowd. The master horologist John Metcalfe – clock expert, to you — with public school English diction and an L.L. Bean bag, informed me that when Newton and Edith Stokes packed up a sixteenth-century British house in 688 boxes to export and reassemble on the coast of Connecticut, they were not the only ones.

John Metcalfe - DAY TWO

It was, apparently, a vogue at the time for those who could afford it. I knew that those of tremendous wealth paid people like Stanford White to cull the monasteries of Europe for great rooms that would be installed intact in their country houses. But I didn’t realize the wholesale shipping over of houses was a fashion for the fashionables until Mr. Metcalfe told me so.

There was the great preservationaist and historian Joyce Mendelsohn, who introduced me with the gracious admonition that listeners buy “two or three books “ and to give the extras to friends. Music to a writer’s ears.

mendelsohn-lower-author

An author herself, most recently of The Lower East Side Remembered and Revisited: A History and Guide to a Legendary New York Neighborhood, Joyce has been a pivotal presence in Victorian Society New York.

Then there was the architect-scholar David Parker, who first introduced me to the dripping-with-history Loeb house at 41 East 72 Street. David knows pretty much everything about buildings and interiors of the late nineteenth century, all of which he applied to the renovation of that brownstone, with its Herter furniture, Tiffany glass, Minton ceramics, swags of velvet and fantastically patterned wallpapers.

Loeb_01

There was a woman from Fraunces Tavern that had me sign copies of all my books at the request of her boss there. Fraunces Tavern is one of the oldest structures in Manhattan – it was first opened by Samuel Fraunces in 1767 — and I was proud to give a talk there once before.

samuel-fraunces-small

I hope I do so again soon.

One scholar present had completed a doctoral thesis called “Psychosexual Dynamics in the Ghost Stories of Henry James.”

henry james

If she had had a copy with her I would have bought it and asked her to sign it.

book signing pic

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Sargent and the Newlywed Stokeses

John Singer Sargent painted Mr. and Mrs. I. N. Phelps Stokes in 1897, during the couple’s honeymoon – a classic portrait and an icon of the time. The three of them spent weeks in his studio, with Sargent occasionally taking breaks to pound out tunes on his grand piano. The great painter was at the height of his career and almost too busy to make time for them, but an influential family friend had commissioned the work as a wedding gift.

Sargent in Studio

Not everyone liked  it. One critic called the painting “too clever for its own good.”

Mr_and_Mrs_John_Phelps_Stokes

Bringing the portrait into existence had been a challenge for Sargent. According to I.N. Phelps Stokes, newlywed Edith “sat to” Sargent 25 times, posing over and over agin in a blue silk gown. Sargent finally got fed up with the formality and said “I want to paint you as you are.” Edith had come in from the hot London streets that day wearing informal attire, clothes drastically different than the diaphanous gowns the painter’s models typically posed in, and she had a fresh, dewy look about her cheeks.

In other words, she was sweating.

Edith

Come tonight to see more pictures and hear more nuggets about the Newton and Edith Stokes, their portrait, and their remarkable lives – Dominican Academy, 44 East 68th Street, bet. Park and Madison, at 6pm, sponsored by the Victorian Society of New York. Free.

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Victorian Society Oct. 8 Talk

Please join me tomorrow evening, Tuesday October 8th, at 6 pm, to hear a free talk I’m giving for the Victorian Society of New York on Love, Fiercely: A Gilded Age Romance. The evening will take place at a school called the Dominican Academy that is housed in a historic mansion at 44 East 68th Street, bet. Park and Madison, in NYC. Get there early for a seat!

Edith & Isaac

For a little more info — according to the organization’s lecture schedule, my presentation:

“will discuss the life, times and passion of two remarkable individuals living in a remarkable age. Her book Love Fiercely: A Gilded Age Romance is both a cultural history of America on the cusp of modernity and a biography of two of the era’s most interesting characters, Isaac Newton Phelps Stokes and his wife, Edith Minturn Stokes, whose double portrait by John Singer Sargent hangs in the Metropolitan Museum’s American Wing. Love, Fiercely immerses readers in the world of the Astors and Vanderbilts, the “uppertens” and the “fashionables” in New York City and its satellite resorts. Zimmerman will also tell the parallel story of the couple’s reform work and of Mr. Stokes’s monumental tome, The Iconography of Manhattan Island.

Mr_and_Mrs_John_Phelps_Stokes

I’ll show lots of great pictures and probably digress quite a bit from these topics, I hope enjoyably. And I’ll sign books after my talk, of course. So come if you can.

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Adding Savage Girl to the Mix

I opened a new page on this site for Savage Girl yesterday… for now you can click on the tab for a description of the book, but more will come so stay tuned. The novel will be out in March 2014.

Savage Girl cover 3

 

I’m going to do some refreshing, refurbishing and rejiggering of the site also in the near future. As always, I welcome comments as well as suggestions for what you’d like me to cover in this personal magazine!

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Braised Pork in Milk Hazan-Style

We used to laugh at something an acquaintance told us about a past spouse, long-since divorced: “she was the best wife-cook of her generation.” But that phrase comes to mind today as I think about Marcella Hazan, who was America’s foremost Italian chef, cookbook author, cooking instructor – the best chef-cooking teacher of her generation. She died at the age of 89, a chain-smoking, opinionated former biology scholar who arrived in the U.S. in 1955 as a newlywed. She did not speak English. She gradually learned the language — and the language of cooking, the latter in order to cook for her husband (he reciprocated by translating all of her cookbooks).

hazan 1

Lidia Bastianich called her “the first mother of Italian cooking in America.” Marcella Hazan’s recipes are simple and precise above all, totally reliable and always scrumptious.

Marcella Hazan

Her Essentials of Classic Italian Cooking is probably the prime staple of my kitchen library, the collection from which I draw recipes again and again, so often that the spine naturally cracks open to some stained pages. Pesto the Marcella Hazan way is the way I make pesto, and the less I diverge in some temporary madness of less olive oil or more cheese the better it is. Her recipe for Minestrone soup is nothing short of perfect. Serve her Osso Bucco and your guests will faint at table. We eat her Risotto often, plain with just cheese or with peas and sausage or with pancetta or zucchini any other good thing we have on hand.

hazan book

I’d like to share a Marcella Hazan recipe from the same book that sounds a little weird, one that is nonetheless spectacular. Gil suggested to me recently that my three major food groups are coffee, chocolate and milk. There is truth to that. Perhaps my fondness for milk is what drew me to Pork Loin Braised in Milk, Bolognese Style. I also love practically any form of roast pork, especially pernil, the garlic infused, succulent joint you find in humble Latin eateries. I remember as a kid out of college, throwing parties with roasted picnic hams that set off the smoke detector.

02mini600.1

In this recipe, the master chef Hazan tells us, “The pork acquires a delicacy of texture and flavor that lead some to mistake it for veal, and the milk disappears to be replaced by clusters of delicious, nut-brown sauce.” You do have to keep an eye on it — it cooks on top of the stove and you have to mind it a bit as it goes along. But every second you spend in the kitchen on this recipe is worth it. Thank you Marcella, you did us right.

Are you ready to drool?

Marcella Hazan’s Pork Loin Braised in Milk

Brown a 2 and a half pound, fatty pork rib roast in a heavy-bottomed pot in 2 tablespooons vegetable oil and 1 tablespoon butter.

Add salt and pepper and 1 cup of milk, slowly. Turn the heat way down and cover the pot with the lid slightly ajar.

Cook at a “lazy simmer” for approximately 1 hour, turning the meat from time to time, until the milk has thickened and turned nut brown. At this point add 1 more cup milk, let it simmer for about 10 minutes, then cover the pot tightly.

After 30 minutes, set the lid slightly ajar. Cook until there is no more liquid in the pot, then add another half cup of milk. Continue cooking until meat feels tender when prodded with a fork and the milk has all coagulated. Altogether the cooking time is between 2 and a half and 3 hours. Add more milk as needed.

Remove the meat to rest on a cutting board. Slice and plate.

Spoon most of the fat out of the pot, leaving behind the milk clusters. Add 2 to 3 tablespons of water and boil at a high heat while using a wooden spoon to scrape away loose cooking residues. Spoon all the juices over the meat and serve immediately.

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Nuggets From Afar

When the fall chill hits and you wrap yourself in a shawl and feel like drifting off to other times and places, these links might inspire you.

The Evolution of Love Songs. In case you ever forget the words to Let Me Call You Sweetheart, here rendered by the Peerless Quartet in 1911.

peerless

Chrysalis is a firm of archaeological consultants that specializes in the history of New York. They’ve recently pursued excavations in the South Street Seaport Historic District that recovered two intact nineteenth-century wooden water mains. Other treasures: eighteenth-century toddlers’ slippers crafted of leather, and British Revolutionary soldiers’ buttons, which turned up along the original shoreline of Manhattan. A liquor bottle seal circa 1764 brings that time alive.

fultonstreet_archaeology01

Between 1885 and 1908, a collector named William Hayes Ward amassed a bounty of 1,157 cylindrical seals dating as far back as the beginning of the fifth millenium. If you like tiny images on semiprecious carved stones from Mespotamia – gods, bulls, antelopes galore — you will want to take a look at these enchanting objects, which formed the core of J.P. Morgan’s collection.

seal-rotate-intro

Living With Herds: A Visualization Dictionary is a short film by a research fellow at an Australian university that shows how Mongolian herders communicate with their animals.

living-with-herds-vocalisation-dictionary-natasha-fijn-2

Women’s bodies were never meant to be squeezed into corsets, which is immediately apparent when you check out x-ray images from 1908.

woman xray

Linguistic fossils offer a glimpse of times gone by.

fossil

And finally, secret, tiny fairy doors began materializing all over Ann Arbor. This was in 2005. Perhaps not surprisingly, the carpenter turns out to be a children’s book author. Doors have appeared at the library, the pet store, the children’s hospital. Anyplace they’d be sure to raise an eyebrow and the corners of your mouth.

tiny door

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On Tiptoe

It’s a pleasant thing to be young, and have ten toes, quoth Robert Louis Stevenson.

Well, it’s good to have ten working toes at any age, I would say, as someone who is coming down the home stretch from foot surgery with a big toe that is being extremely uncooperative. It’s stiff, sore, and doesn’t want to help my foot walk smoothly. You will recognize me if you see me limping awkwardly toward you, my pins distinctly out of whack.

f0698_bigtoe

A physical therapist has been assigned to fiddle with, manipulate and macerate my hallux to get it where it has to go. Heat is being applied. Cold has been furnished. Exercises, ones that would bore to death a soul with healthy feet – a repeated ballet releve, rocking, wiggling—now earn my intensest interest. I have learned to pick up a marble with my toes and deposit it in a plastic bowl. A great achievement, don’t you know.

I looked to the Poetry Foundation for inspiration. A great poem called An Exchange between the Fingers and the Toes by the English wordsmith John Fuller describes a comical oneupsmanship between the sets of digits. In an interview, Fuller once explained that “a good poem takes some irresolvable complication, worries it to death like a dog with a bone, and leaves it still unresolved. The pleasure of the poem lies entirely in the worrying, the verbal growling and play. Life itself stubbornly remains entirely like a bone.”

john-fuller

In this verse, which speaks eloquently to my current state, the crafty fingers accuse the klutzy hallux at one point of being a “futile pig,” but the toes come back with eventual triumph:

Despite your fabrications and your cunning,   

The deepest instinct is expressed in running.

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In a New Light at the Guggenheim

I finally went, on the next to last day of the exhibition. The James Turrell installation, that is, called Aten Reign, at the Solomon R. Guggenheim Museum in New York City.

gugg bldg

It’s been up since June, and everyone said You’ve got to go, you’ve got to go.

Now I understand why.

Turrell is a conceptual artist who manipulates natural and artificial light on a grand scale. He’s been practicing his craft since the 1960s. “My art deals with light itself,” he has said. “It’s not the bearer of the revelation. It is the revelation.”

JamesTurrell_landscape

Sounds lofty. But when you enter the rotunda of the Guggenheim and look up to see the deep magic of colored orbs, eggs really, egg after egg after egg, created by lights projected on the concentric rings of the museum’s famous spiral, you see what he means. As you watch, the colors begin to shift, from pale silver to violet to tangerine to raspberry  to acid lime. A fruit-sweetened flow of light.

red eggs

My mind entered a waking dream state. I have to admit that I was equally fascinated by the 200 or so human animals on display beneath the well of light. Tourists. Natives. Suits and shorts, stripes and leggings and boots. Fifteen, twenty languages, who knew? It was one of those afternoons when people look especially beautiful. We were all in a cave filled with liquid light, all creatures awestruck, bemused, interested in the same phenomenon. Turrell is a Quaker, a faith he characterizes as having a “straightforward, strict presentation of the sublime.” Patient contemplation is a tenet of his work. It’s not a particular feature of life in New York City, usually, yet here it was.

A circular mat lay in the center of the space. People sprawled on the pad like participants at an old-fashioned happening, gaping upward at the magnificent spaces of Frank Lloyd Wright’s genius structure, now transformed to a Turrell Skyspace.

red room

Museum goers waited calmly for a chance at the mat – it was easier to find a parking spot outside than a supine position on the Guggenheim’s floor. They tried to take pictures of the lights but were checked by guards. But Aten Reign begged for pictures. It reminded me of that experiment with toddlers and marshmallows, where a lady gives a kid a marshmallow and says if he holds off for x minutes without eating it, he’ll be given two. What kid can exert that much self control?  Likewise, what adult at this luscious light show could resist clicking a phone upward even if it meant sneaking to do it?

purple eggs

I was reminded of Oscar Wilde’s famous line, We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Gil waded into the scrum, pretty spry for a nearly-sixty-year-old man – you had to move fast to claim a spot – and lay himself down, spellbound. “It was like a wrestling mat,” he told me afterward, “one where people have been pinned too many times.” The funk of the thousands of bodies since the show opened somehow added to the appeal.

The sky above went from ultraviolet to dark as a storm. Tranquillity descended. Was this what my sometime cynic of a husband liked to call the “theater of faint effect” – something that’s not necessarily going to change your life?  Still, “I felt like I needed a lamaze coach” was what he told me later about the near birth experience he’d had. This would seem to partake of E.M. Forster’s “only connect,” with all of us touching this spiritual lozenge above us, this gleaming cough drop of a god, and at the same time touching each other.

blue room

A friend once told me about her experience walking on burning coals, that there was no rational reason for it but she was transformed by a mystical joy. No one knows exactly why, but it happens.

pink eggs

I sat on the bench that ran around the circular walls. Behind me I realized I was listening to the plash of a fountain. This is the first time I’ve ever employed that word. Later, at lunch in the museum’s somewhat pretentiously named restaurant, The Wright, I ate something I had never tried before, in a frisee salad: a skinned cherry tomato, poached or braised somehow to bring out its pulpy flavor. In the corner, Isaac Mizrahi with his doo-rag held forth in some kind of ecstatic state.

Everything appeared fresh after the Turrell show. September 25, the exhibit closes. There is only tomorrow. Go.

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A Silver Signature

I made a mistake. After all my talk of streamlining my library, tossing out the old, letting in light, I winnowed too much. Books, as I wrote a few days ago, are not just about reading, but about your relationship with the volume, your history with what you hold in your hand.

I nearly threw away some vital history. After packing that big old box with dozens of titles and dropping it at the local branch library, I went home feeling liberated. My shelves were mine, filled with awesome novels and nonfiction, all the collection dusted and shiny.

Around midnight yesterday, my eyes popped open. I remembered that amid the floods of paper and cardboard around me I had held a silver-foil-covered book in my hands, turning the pages. As I stood there, I recalled reading it. Stieg Larsson’s The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet’s Nest. I’d liked it. I was over it, though, now. Into the box with the others.

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But with the wee hour night thoughts closing in, I now remembered something else: a name on the first page, a small, careful signature in blue ink.

The name belonged to a friend of mine, who had presented the book to me when I was rehabbing after hip surgery three years ago. She had bought me the other two novels in Larsson’s series in paperback, but this one, in silver foil, a hardcover, belonged to her. I want that one back, she told me. We sat together in this dungeon-like rehab center, the unattainable sun outside the windows. She was one of the few friends who made it all the way there. When she left I gobbled down Larsson’s energetic creation, his tattooed girl, one volume after the next, in a slight haze of percocet, finishing the long, twisted, potent narrative before my two weeks of healing were through.

Not long after she gifted me with the Larsson trilogy, my friend passed away. Breast cancer took her way too soon. I kept the silver-foil-covered book she’d loaned me on my shelves, by now forgotten under a stack of other books. I want that one back, she’d said.

This morning I drove to the library where we’d left the giant box. The books had already been brought to a back room for sorting, the reference librarian said. We’re so sorry, she said, consoling me for the loss of the book. I felt I should be apologizing for causing so much trouble. She led the way back. Gil and I searched and searched, through stacks of hundreds of books. No silver foil. That tiny little connection, through a pop novel gift of my friend to me, had floated into the ether, and I wouldn’t see it again.

Driving home, my phone rang. The library. We have your book. Come back.

And so I reclaimed the silver foil – it had already been put on the sale cart – and brought it back to my home library. First, though, even before getting in the car, I cracked the spine and inspected the first-page signature. The hand of my friend, extending out of a book.

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