Category Archives: Jean Zimmerman

Knit, Eat, Publish

Feeling pleasantly festive,

1911 celebration

not in 1911 but 2013, we made our way to Tarrytown around noontime. First, an errand.

At the yarn shop, I attempted to yank out a hank of ribbon yarn from a bulging cubby of gorgeous candy-colored floss.

“Don’t worry… pull!,” said the proprietor. “The worst that can happen is a yarnalanche.”

ribbon yarn

Elise Goldschlag, the owner of Flying Fingers, is joined in the enterprise by her genius knitter son Dillon. They’re known for their Yarn Bus, which according to Goldschlag “has now logged 100,000 yards of yarn.” The store serves Westchester but also brings customers from stops across Manhattan– Bloomingdale’s, Chelsea, Penn Station, the Upper West Side – delivering them to Tarrytown (killer lattes right next door) for a few hours of chat and shop, then back home again.

yarnbuspark_500x375

Elise can knit anything, even a slipcover. Dillon’s getting close. He graduated from the Rhode Island School of Design before giving up the starving artist thing to work with his mother. Men were actually the first to knit for an occupation, and it’s still not uncommon the world over. To wit, these young men plying their needles in a Chinese dorm.

men dorm knitting

Clutching a new pair of size 13 sticks, I accompanied my husband to a new restaurant down the street. Did they know that Gil had just received his first copy of Mafia Summit: J. Edgar Hoover, the Kennedy Brothers, and the Meeting That Unmasked the Mob (Thomas Dunne Books/St. Martins Press)?

eyes on glass

The waiters kept arriving at the table unsummoned, bringing little complimentary plates of odd but tasty cheeses, cured meats, and a salad of wild rice and cranberries seasoned perfectly with sesame oil. We read the newspapers. Everything was easy.

There are few days that compare in the life of a book author with getting that first copy in the mail. You worked so hard on the earliest draft, sweated over revisions, slaved to get photos for the picture insert, and now the day is here and all of that is far in the rear view. It’s almost as if the book were produced by someone else – someone smarter than you! And yet it has your name on it (in large type, hopefully).

Gil’s book is terrific.

After we scarfed down as much of our paninis as we could manage, a different waiter appeared at our table to set forth a plate of french fries, gratis. “These have truffle salt,” he said before skipping away.

french fries

The most scrumptious french fries ever. Congratulations, Gil, the book is great.

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Birthday Wishes, Simone

Today, light a birthday candle for Simone de Beauvoir, who made so many beautifully coherent declarations, including, “Each of us is responsible for everything and to every human being.”

Though Beauvoir came to lasting fame for her revolutionary treatiseThe Second Sex, I have always loved  her Memoirs of a Dutiful Daughter, in which she wrote about coming to womanhood in the restrictive french society of her day.

SIMONE-DE-BEAUVOIR-001 Born in 1908, Beauvoir had a sense of her uniqueness from when she was around ten years old.

“I became in my own eyes a character out of a novel… One afternoon I was playing croquet with Poupette, Jeanne, and Madeleine. We were wearing beige pinafores with red scallops and embroidered cherries. The clumps of laurel were shining in the sun, and the earth smelled good. Suddenly I was struck motionless: I was living through the first chapter of a novel in which I was the heroine… I decided that my sister and my cousins, who were prettier, more graceful, and altogether nicer than myself would be more popular than I; they would find husbands, but not I. I should feel no bitterness about it; people would be right to prefer them to me: but something would happen which would exalt me beyond all personal preference; I did not know under what form, or by whom I should be recognized for what I was. I imagined that already there was someone watching the croquet lawn and the four little girls in their beige pinafores: the eyes rested on me and a voice murmured: “She is not like other girls.”

Yet Simone was hardly a rebel compared with her best friend Zaza. The two girls were called the “inseparables.” Zaza and Simone shared a common interest in ideas and in books. “ZaZa was a cynic,” Beauvoir later said when asked what attracted her to her friend. “ I had never heard anyone speak with such openness and force. There was no such thing as propriety, and no subject was sacred. Even at such a young age, I had learned to guard my remarks, but not she. She would say anything.” She relays a story in the book about Zaza delivering a perfect solo at a packed piano recital, then sticking out her tongue to taunt her instructor – innocent enough sounding, but typical of her antisocial shenanigans.

In 1929, Zaza died of meningitis. The way Beauvoir portrays it in Memoirs, Zaza’s struggle to resist an arranged marriage was the real cause of her death. Zaza’s friendship and her untimely demise haunt Memoirs of a Dutiful Daughter, and fueled the great feminist’s later critiques of society’s constraints on women.

Beauvoir would later write: “I tore myself away from the safe comfort of certainties through my love for truth – and truth rewarded me.”

Reading about Zaza and Simone was formative for me when I was an adolescent, trying to figure out my role as the heroine of my own life. I remember gazing out the kitchen window at a spreading tree in the center of our yard and having a thought cross my mind, very clearly and consciously: I am myself. My self.

Simone de Beauvoir went from that beige pinafore on to greatness, her ideas reaching millions, startling people with her unorthodox relationships with Sartre and other men, such as, famously, the American writer Nelson Algren. Her social theory, her political activism, her fiction, her feminist theory have inspired legions. There was even a posthumous kerfuffle over a nude photo Art Shay took that surfaced on the cover of the French journal Nouvel Observateur in 2008. She shocked the world all over again.

de Beauvoir naked

It’s a beautiful photo. I think Zaza would have approved.

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So Unconscious Desire

Poets on walls. So nice to have them come out of the pages and present themselves as larger than life. Even as graffiti.

Neruda. “It  happens that I am tired of being a man.” The first line of “Walking Around,” one of my favorite poems. “Just the same it would be delicious/to scare a notary with a cut lily/or knock a nun stone dead with one blow of an ear./It would be beautiful/to go through the streets with a green knife/shouting until I died of cold.” Here Pablo sports a flower at his ear.

neruda

Byron.

byron

“She walks in beauty, like the night /Of cloudless climes and starry skies; 
/And all that’s best of dark and bright 
/Meet in her aspect and her eyes…” Byron wrote these lines in 1814, stunned by the sight of his ravishing cousin, the Lady Wilmot Horton, at a party in mourning dress.

And Maya Angelou.

angelou

Life doesn’t frighten me at all.

Not at all.

Not at all.

And I would like to add my humble contribution. Back in 1985 when I got my MFA at Columbia, the poetry collection I wrote as a thesis had the title “So Unconscious Desire.” Inspired by a perfect graffito that I saw sprayed in orange and green on a boarded up storefront on 19th Street between 2nd and 3rd, long erased except in my mind’s eye. I think I’d like to go paint that again on a rock somewhere.

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The Fuddy

It is finished. The blanket, THE blanket, the lap throw that beat up all the other lap throws, the knitted Christmas blanket for my husband.

blanket full on

Some questioned whether it would ever be done. I don’t even know how many stripes it has.

When Maud was little she had a blue flannel blanket we called a fuddy, nomenclature derived from Gil’s sister’s family. It was everything to her, she out-Linus’d Linus, tho she never sucked her thumb. As she got older she moved on to clutching a thick, brightly colored silk scarf of mine when she slept. She dreamed better. I still cherish that scarf. The more because she hugged it.

scarf

I never had a fuddy. But I sure liked making this one, with love, for Gil.

folded blanket

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Strawberry Cake

Maud made cupcakes this afternoon. They were delicious. Full of butter and sugar and even chocolate chips.

For those times when you want a cake that’ s a little less natural, one filled with artificial cake mix and jello and vegetable oil, this here’s your bet. The recipe came to me via my Tennessee grandmother, and we’ve been making it for birthdays ever since we had a toddler in the house. The layers come out a beautiful synthetic pink, and your teeth hurt after taking a bite. It’s that good.

strawberry cake

Strawberry Cake

One package white cake mix

One tablespoon flour

One package strawberry Jell-O

Three-fourths cup vegetable oil

One half cup water

One half cup frozen strawberries, thawed to mushy stage and mashed

Four eggs

Combine cake mix, flour and Jell-O in mixing bowl; blend well, then add oil, water, strawberries. Then add one egg at a time, beating well after each addition.

Divide batter into two nine-inch pans, well greased and floured. Bake at 350 for 25-30 minutes.

For a nice-looking tall cake, double the recipe and make four nine-inch layers.

For cupcakes, fill papers (try to find big ones, not the skimpy kids’ kind) nearly to the top. Bake the same amount of time to start, then check for doneness with a toothpick.

Strawberry Icing

One stick butter, softened

One box sifted confectioner’s sugar

One half cup thawed mashed frozen strawberries

Cream ingredients.

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Bird Nurturing and Glued-on Mussels

MOMA was almost shockingly quiet this Saturday morning when we visited, a good atmosphere for taking in an exhibit curated by artist Trisha Donnelly that encompassed an eclectic group of works.

moma pic

One room was filled with the brilliant photos of Eliot Porter, who shot them mainly in the ‘50s – all mother and baby birds in their nests, the young birds’ yawning, demanding mouths impossibly close up and crystalline. My photos of photos follow.

green bird

red bird

We came out of the exhibit only to stumble upon a special showing of Munch’s The Scream, so mobbed by that time with photo-clicking tourists you could barely get a glimpse of the painting’s surprisingly light pastel tones – you imagine it as so gloomy and dark and it’s not at all in the flesh.

the scream

Then, perhaps best of all, we found ourselves in a room dominated by an artist I wasn’t aware of before, Marcel Broodthaers, a Belgian who did his surrealist, literary thing in the ‘60s and ‘70s before his untimely death due to liver disease on his 52nd birthday. He designed his tombstone.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

You could go into the Museum of Modern Art a hundred times and discover something new.

First Broodthaers worked as a poet, then as a filmmaker, before turning to found objects and text as his means of expression. He had a few obsessions, mussel shells and museum exhibits among them – he glued the shells to boards and other surfaces, and created his own imaginary art exhibits. He fell under the spell of René Magritte, especially his movement-fomenting “La Trahison des Images (Ceci n’est pas une pipe)”, and created a wealth of pipe images (you can see one on Broodthaer’s tomb) in homage to the great surrealist. At MOMA there is a wall of metal plates like large license plates inscribed with pipes.

I love art based on text, so it’s no surprise I like this work so much.

turpitude

Turpitude=immorality/depravity.

In the catalogue for his first exhibit in Brussels  in 1964, Broodthaers wrote: “I, too, wondered whether I could not sell something and find some success in life. For some time I had been no good at anything. I am 40 years old…Finally the idea of inventing something insincere crossed my mind, and I set to work straightaway.”

Somehow that idea of inventing something insincere strikes me as just about perfect as an artist’s goal. Washed down by hot coffee and flaky chocolate croissants, it was a day of heady inspiration.

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Frank O’Hara’s Today

I’ve been thinking a lot about the great New York poet Frank O’Hara – he strolled the Manhattan streets in the 1950s and ’60s writing brilliant, hilarious autobiographical poems about everyday life, kind of like the first blogger.

FRANK

I cannot find any of my O’Hara volumes at the moment, but here at least is a wonderful poem that is available among others on line.

Today

Oh! kangaroos, sequins, chocolate sodas!

You really are beautiful! Pearls,

harmonicas, jujubes, aspirins! all

the stuff they’ve always talked about

still makes a poem a surprise!

These things are with us every day

even on beachheads and biers. They

do have meaning. They’re strong as rocks.

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Ho Hum

knit widower

Yes, I did knit some today.

And when I wasn’t knitting, I was grocery shopping.

grocery

It was that kind of day.

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Blood on the Tracks

A trail of blood drops through shallow snow, crossing and re-crossing the trail from the Cabin to the clearing. At one point there is a big gout of red, before the trail heads off down through rocks, pine cones and brambles.

cone

A mystery. Oliver sniffs all around the red pockmarks; if he knows, he can’t explain to humans.

A neighbor comes up with a possible story. Bow season on public land just ended. A wounded deer, a frantic flight from the hunter.

It’s not that I love deer so much, want to Bambi-ize them, we have too many for that. Their tracks are as thick across our land as the flakes in a snowstorm. But I can’t help but imagine this animal staggering under its injury, or bounding through the night, strong with adrenaline as its blood spills and its life seeps away. We have a healthy buck in our woods, and I wouldn’t want that to be his last trek.

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Twisted Chicken

A good friend bestowed upon me this chicken, which she found at a garage sale down a country road, hidden under a bunch of junk and on the verge of abandonment. No one wanted it. Some homespun outsider artist had crafted the bird out of all-unnatural materials, kind of a strange stretchy yellow foamish jersey and twisted orange nylon for legs, like those mini bungees we used to employ in grade school to weave potholders. Most interesting is the gold-painted plastic egg embedded in its abdomen. You can take it out and hold it, admire it if you like, then tuck it back in.

chicken

The chicken will bring you good luck, my friend told me. I’ve been saving it for just the right time and just the right person, and here we are.

What could I do? I adopted the chicken. It lives high on a the top of a wooden wardrobe, in complete privacy and comfort. “Regard it as just as desirable to build a chicken house as to build a cathedral,” said Frank Lloyd Wright. I don’t know about making me lucky, but the hideous bird seems to have brought me hope, humbling, fraught wish-making for the future, and that might even be more valuable.

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Glistening Fur

The last post of the year… and I am so thankful to everyone who has followed me here and allowed me to share my thoughts and doings. May we all have health and calm in 2013.

Here is wisdom on the new year, from Rilke:

“Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves like locked rooms or books that are written in a foreign tongue. The point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live your way some distant day into the answers.”
rilkepic
While we’re with Rilke, here is one of the world’s best poems. His.
Archaic Torso of Apollo

We cannot know his legendary head
with eyes like ripening fruit. And yet his torso
is still suffused with brilliance from inside,
like a lamp, in which his gaze, now turned to low,

gleams in all its power. Otherwise
the curved breast could not dazzle you so, nor could
a smile run through the placid hips and thighs
to that dark center where procreation flared.

Otherwise this stone would seem defaced
beneath the translucent cascade of the shoulders
and would not glisten like a wild beast’s fur:

would not, from all the borders of itself,
burst like a star: for here there is no place
that does not see you. You must change your life.

 

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The Muse of the Odd

“Woo the muse of the odd,” wrote Lafcadio Hearn.

Speaks to me of my novel, Savage Girl, its manuscript just now revised. Well, it probably still needs a word changed. And another. And another. But the book is basically done and on its way to publication by Viking.

I think the character of Savage Girl herself shines out more now than before. Discovered as an adolescent in a Virginia City, Nevada side show in 1875, she is being displayed as a wild child – one raised by wild beasts. All sorts of mystery surrounds her.

wild children

The locals line up to ogle her. Then a seriously wealthy couple from New York City come out West to inspect their silver mines, adopt the girl, and bring her back East to raise her up as a debutante.

Victorian-debutante

It was a time when people were fascinated by the differences/connections between beasts and humans (Darwin, etc.) and the question of whether this young girl can be civilized is pivotal. In the process, worlds crash together, and murder and mayhem ensue.

homo_sapiens

The narrator of this tale, a young anatomy student named Hugo Delegate, takes as his mentor Andreas Vaselius, the founding genius of anatomical art who in 1543 published an illustrated book called De humani corporis fabrica (“On the Structure of the Human Body”). The drawings shocked the Rennaissance, showing the human animal demystified. More questions of what makes us human.

Visalius

Together, Hugo and the Savage Girl go on adventures through Gilded Age Manhattan, searching for the bad guys, discovering each other. Oddities of all sorts prevail. It was a fabulously odd book to work on. And I hope other people will read it in the same spirit.

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The Yule Blog

My home-style version of the Yule Log they air on Channel 11 over the holidays. The Cabin version.

fire

I am cheer-filled and sweet-stunned, and somewhat unable to blog efficiently. More and better posts in the future!

 

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A Porcupine in Snow

Herein, a squib from one of my favorite e-newsletters, the Hudson River Almanac:

“Air temperatures in the teens the last few nights had frozen up most of the lakes and ponds. Snow covered the Adirondack High Peaks but there was just a dusting on the ground in town. Animals were getting ready for winter as demonstrated by our encounter with a porcupine today: My colleague and I found one apparently trying to use one of our kayaks for a winter den. We were putting boats into winter storage and when we went to pick up the kayak we were startled by some movement and noise. It seems that a porcupine thought the bow of a kayak was the perfect place to keep out of the winter weather. We thought about letting it stay where it was but the amount of fecal matter and urine in the kayak made us think the boat would be unusable, or certainly not pleasant to use, if we let the animal remain there for an entire season. Hopefully it found something more suitable. Porcupines do not hibernate during winter; they depend on body fat (up to 60% of their body mass), their ability to get nutrition from some poor quality foods, and spending their time either eating or resting in their dens.”

I so like to think of the porcupine “resting” in its kayak den as the flakes fall around and about. Maybe muttering to itself a little.

porcupinepix

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Santa From On High

Santa-cam! Merry Christmas, everyone.

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